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The Magnificent Hurt of Summer

by Padraic's Joy

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1.
Tension 00:56
2.
Mining Man 02:48
i'm no jewel a pretty dime caked in the mud a piece of bubble gum in exchange for the tricky one you're no prince a silly servant to the labyrinth no way to see how far you've come your tools are far too rusted to find a diamond-encrusted ring still i sing simple is hard to hear so far below the ground i love you, a broken phrase tossed to the lost and found could never expect anything of you you can search me till time brings you the moon
3.
circles can't quite catch the thoughts racing 'round my track geometry never could i can't document the little hammers in my neck reminding me of every thrust i withstood it's not the way i hurt that haunts me the ghost is knowing the hurt will soon be gone summer doesn't last a lifetime but how i wish the hurt of summer could carry on how i shake when i'm away from you is hardly a testament to my fears love doesn't die, but love will change and love like you will find a way to swiftly disappear it's not the way you fall that haunts me the ghost is knowing we'll break when i'm gone summer love is a short lived water bug, injecting life into the victims of the deadened winter months but how i wish the life of summer could carry on this bridge is 3 months high mountains draped over your shoulder tell me time has left you bolder, looking down will only slow you this bridge is 3 months high and i'm dying to define us but with changing winds behind us, looking down will only throw you it's not the way you speak that haunts me the ghost is knowing i'll forget your voice summer's rain will be felt long after the pain of our goodbye, as if we had a choice it's not the way i hurt that haunts me the ghost is knowing the hurt will soon be gone summer doesn't last a lifetime but how i wish, oh, how i wish, on every shooting star we saw, that the magnificent hurt of summer could carry on
4.
at 1006 02:20
big fish in a small pond needs a bigger space but does she know feeling so small will cause her soul to fall on the brink of breaking just a fracture, a fraction of the fear is born of living with the fact that my Thomas isn't here but see, fish don't speak punch lines fall from my empty pockets as i sleep desperately hoping to dream of familiarity blood was in his sheets love spattered all o'er my heart now i watch him from afar as i try to produce artificial art my skin is scales, my blood is hot, my love is stale, my voice is shot, i can't find the lines to contain what i'm not so here's to every fucking word i forgot but i hope i feel as natural as i did when you held me in your arms, i was just a kid i was just a kid

about

The story, from beginning to end, of a romance explored in 2015. This story is raw and barely edited for the sake of keeping the telling as intimate as possible. Enjoy these somewhat expired but heavily formative feelings.

credits

released June 29, 2017

-produced & mixed by Phoebe Nix
-listened to (intently) during this session by Phoebe Nix & Sean Polk (thank you both for your skills, ears, musical advice, and personal guidance. much love always.)
-painting in album art by Thomas Ostie
-inspired by a lovely vampire

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all rights reserved

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about

Padraic's Joy Asbury Park, New Jersey

queer indie-folk songwriter & vocalist. gemini piney.

they/them/theirs

BLACK TRANS LIVES MATTER

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