1. |
Trailhead
01:30
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2. |
Too Much
04:34
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The cherry blossoms bloomed
The third week of March
Midway through our quarantine
Just before your 23rd
We stayed with my parents
Who kept us fed and warm in New Jersey
And I wonder if you had fun
I wonder if I wonder too much
In that time we walked the woods
And fell and fucked and got the goods
I saw your soul with a sober eye
We drank and paused and found the breath
Then traded it for cigarettes
You saw my father make me cry
And I wonder if I am enough
I wonder if I wonder too much
Adge taught me to strike the balance
But juggling’s never been my talent
I know she’s right but I’m just not there
So until then I’ll ask you this
Is structured time a thing you miss?
Do you want it? Do you need it?
Do you care?
Until then I’ll ask you this
Do I laugh too loud? Are you embarrassed
Of my body, my honesty, or my hair?
See I wonder if I am too much
And I wonder if I wonder too much?
Do you wonder if I am too much?
Do you wonder if I wonder too much?
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3. |
Dove Song
03:39
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Dove, southern belle
You captured me with your curls
And poorly hidden tells
Sat close, I froze
How was I to know your holy words
Would wash me of my hells?
Lavender and gin,
My heart was longing to begin
In the tub with you, sweet Dove
Dove, sly songbird
Your grace and wit matched only by
The nervous songs I heard you play
My stay was transformed by this intimacy
Dissolved all my fears
Tied to the word
Lavender and whisky
Did you know that you would kiss me
Into love,
Sweet Dove?
Each movement, each gaze
Down to every costume change
You were walking poetry I couldn’t wait
To savor on my tongue
Sweet Dove
And true, you won’t remain
The “you” I’m creating in my brain
But that’s fine, take a hammer to this line
And write some, too
I can’t wait for you
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4. |
Wrong River
03:40
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I’m tryna map out my love for you
I don’t know where it began
We’re going walking at Shark River soon
Geography I understand
Please tell me where the line is drawn in the sand
I can’t see it anymore
Is it too much to ask for you to have this conversation?
Or has your head also been resting on that door?
You go on writing songs about the wrong river
I’ll be burning my bridges
You keep on foraging for mushrooms in the forest
I’ll keep on pulling off ticks
I swear you saw that movie cause you warned me of the party scene
And when the girl would get sick
You said “I really think you’ll love it friend, it’s gay enough”
And I said “there is no such thing”
You go on writing songs about the wrong river
I’ll be building my bridges
You keep on foraging for mushrooms in the forest
I’ll keep on pulling off ticks
You go on writing songs about the wrong river
I’ll be harmonizing
You keep on being there whenever I call for you
I’ll keep on writing what I miss
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5. |
Yellow Paint
02:29
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May is for meteor showers
I’m sleeping with the ticks tonight
The milk moon has all but soured
The feel of my room like an empty old pint
So pour yourself a drink
And say what you think
I know I’m not what you wanted me to be
And what does that mean?
May is for mother’s day
And pitch pines with measured ambition
I wish I could hear what you’re trying to say
But instead I hunt for what’s missing
So cut yourself some slack
And please take care of your back
I’ll find the words to say to
Hold us over if only till next May
No, you don’t know me now
But you knew me before this change
Blonde hair and buck teeth,
A phobia of vomiting
And you were my shining sun
You gave light to the rain
You must have seen some part of me in the yellow paint
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6. |
Mount Misery
03:53
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Filter fabric, shadows in the attic
I hate it when you roll your eyes at me
Tarot readings, feeling our feelings
Or drinking till you cry and fall asleep
I’m not, I’m not writing you off
And I never will
Find me, find me at Mount Misery
If you’d like to finally burn the kill
Brown recluse bite
Hey kid, you alright?
Your bones are hardly holding what is yours
Bodies touching, swear I’m not bluffing
It seems my own desire has transformed
I don’t want anymore
I’m not, I’m not writing you off
And I never will
Find me, find me at Mount Misery
If you’d like to finally burn the kill
Well I have your nose, your lips, and your toes
Our likeness isn’t all that hard to find
Patchwork human, tell me where you’ve been
And I’ll learn how to read between the lines
Oh, little moments, that’s where the hope is
Playing hike and seek inside the mess
And I’ll hold on to everything you want to
And spin bittersweet tales of all the rest
I’m not, I’m not writing you off
And I never will
Find me, find me at Mount Misery
If you’d like to finally burn the kill
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7. |
Desire Paths
03:56
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Gold-tipped trees, honeybee
Raced you to the full moon and cut my knee
Cedars turn water to blood
Dead leaves transform into bugs
Oh, your mother wouldn’t have this
The medicine stopped working
Desire paths round us out
Silent hoists itself atop the feelings we shout
Complicate the parliament
With a cactus tree argument
Oh, your mother couldn’t bare this
The medicine stopped working
Oh, paint me plastered and cover your eyes
Can’t see me after I boil down the guise
Don’t pretend it’s not on your mind
Can you describe
Body peace?
A real release?
Even a cry
Deep in the pines?
Oh
The cycle starts and we fall
Oblivious to the call
Shallow breath greets the chest
You promised you’d love me the best
Oh, the baby arrived just in time
To witness your mother’s last cry
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8. |
Hannah Cut My Hair
02:44
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Hannah cut my hair
It was everywhere
Hannah gave me eyes
I couldn't recognize
But you said "no"
So I said "no"
Close that door and come home
Hannah hugged you tight
They kissed you goodnight (every night)
Wet were Hannah's eyes
When I said "something isn't right"
But you said "no"
So I said "no"
Close that door and come home
Hannah's in my dreams
I hold them in my sleep
And I still got your ring
I'll mail it sometime next week
And don't you know I'm falling in love
At least three times a week
And home is another place
We visit just to leave
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Padraic's Joy Asbury Park, New Jersey
queer indie-folk songwriter & vocalist. gemini piney.
they/them/theirs
BLACK TRANS LIVES MATTER
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